The original: 

The Last Starfighter (1984)​

 

Directed by: 

Nick Castle (The Boy Who Could Fly, Dennis, Tap)

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Starring: 

Lance Guest, Catherine Mary Stewart, Robert Preston, Dan O’Herlihy, Norman Snow, Dan Mason, Chris Hebert, Barbara Bosson

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Brace yourself- It’s Star Wars meets Repton 3, as a teenaged gamer is plucked from his humdrum existence and shot to the stars, to become the ultimate galactic hero.

 

Alex Rogan (Guest) lives in a trailer park in the middle of nowhere with his mother, younger brother, girl friend and extended family of residents. His obsession with leaving this one horse community and seeing the world is matched only by his love of the park’s one arcade game, Star Fighter, on which he excels.

 

Things take a turn when it is revealed that this is no ordinary box of pixels, but a recruitment tool used to find Star Fighters, to join the battle against Interstellar War Monger and Simpering Psychopath, Xur. Friendships are forged and enemies vanquished, as ships spin faster than a Beta-Unit’s detachable head.

 

The Last Starfighter is fun and inventive. It stands out for the zippy plot and snappy interactions, as well as its basic but revolutionary CGI effects and excellent alien prosthetic heads.

 

It may be all over the place, with some glaring logic and tonal inconsistencies, but these are washed over by the joyful exuberance with which it’s put together, as well as a sporadically witty script.

 

The film also serves as the ultimate wish-fulfilment scenario, allowing countless would-be heroes to finally rebuke their mothers, tired of being told their wasted time, squandered change and aggressive repetitive wrist injuries were just not worth it.

 

So look to the stars, but head to the arcade; and don’t forget your pocket money.

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Centauri- “Alex! Alex! You're walking away from history. History! Did Chris Columbus say he wanted to stay home? No! What if the Wright Brothers thought that only birds should fly? And did Geloca think the Yulus were too ugly to save?”

Alex- “Who's Geloca?”

Centauri- “Never mind.”

Alex- “Listen, Centauri, I'm not any of those guys. I'm a kid from a trailer park.”

Centauri- "If that's what you think, then that's all you'll ever be!”

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Alex (to an angry alien)- “I'm sorry, it was an accident. I didn't mean to step on your, uh, whatever that is.”

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Alex- “Hold it! There's no fleet? No Starfighters, no plan? One ship, you, me, and that's it?

Grig- “Exactly! Xur thinks you're still on Earth. Classic military strategy, surprise attack.”

Alex- “It'll be a slaughter!”

Grig- “That's the spirit!”

Alex- “No, my slaughter!”

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Alex- “Wait a second. We knock out the turret to get the fighters. But to get the turret, we gotta get through the fighters. We're dead!”

Grig- “I’ll have it all figured out by the time we reach the Frontier.”

(alarm sounds)

Alex- “What’s that?”

Grig- “The Frontier.”

 

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Maggie- “I love you, Alex Rogan.”

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